Cuffing Season: Real love or a way to stay warm until Spring?
By: Lilly
Content Writer for The Stories We Need to Hear Magazine
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, cuffing season is almost over. For those who don’t know, cuffing season is the time between October and February when people who are typically happy being single suddenly pair up. Casual dating becomes more challenging during the colder months, so single people are in a rush to find one singular partner for the winter. An added bonus is a date to every major holiday: couples' costumes on Halloween, romantic Valentine’s Day activities, and someone to bring home on Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Cuffing season happens every year, but this season felt extra heavy due to the Coronavirus pandemic. The risk of infection or spread has been heavy on all of our minds, so seeing as few people as possible has been a top priority. People will often go on as many dates as possible just before cuffing season, in a desperate attempt to find someone to spend the winter with. This year, it seems like people have just been settling for the first decent person they meet.
Perhaps you’re in a relationship right now. If you got cuffed this season, it probably felt nice to know that you had someone to cuddle up with while still minimizing your risk of getting sick. Many bars and restaurants are still closed, so finding someone willing to relax and stream movies with you all winter is a great find. However, as the season comes to a close, you might be wondering where you and your partner stand.
Did you go into this season with the intention of getting cuffed? Did you simply fall into a relationship by chance? Either way, conversations about what happens after cuffing season don’t usually come up. The discussion can be awkward. Both parties have to decide if what you have is real or if it was just a way to pass the time while you’re waiting for spring.
If you went into this season with clear intentions, then the conversation might be easier. It takes a lot of confidence to be clear in what you want. If you and your partner are on the same page, that’s great! Whether you decide to split in the spring or stay together, hopefully, things will end up in a way that makes each party happy.
“Unexpected feelings can lead to the hardest heartbreak.”
What if you went into the partnership merely looking for a wintertime cuff, but then you caught feelings? This can be a little more difficult. Redefining you and your partner’s expectations can be a hard conversation to have. There is a chance that they caught feelings, too. This would be the desired outcome. However, there is always the fear of rejection as we draw closer and closer to spring.
The biggest fear is that your partner will want to split once spring comes. This rejection can feel bitter. You’ve spent all winter snuggled up with the same person, so suddenly losing this person can feel like a harsh blow. This is the danger of cuffing season. It is easy to become attached to someone that you’ve spent an entire season with. Being rejected by someone you’ve become so close with can sometimes seem unexpected.
“Being rejected by someone you’ve become so close with can sometimes seem unexpected.”
Being rejected is always hard to deal with. It is tough when you never planned on catching feelings in the first place. You might have entered a temporary relationship with the intention of just having someone to waste time with, but somewhere along the way, things changed. Unexpected feelings can lead to the hardest heartbreak.
If you were cuffed and rejected at the end, how do you manage those feelings of heartbreak? It can be complicated knowing where to start, but self-care is never a bad idea. Take some time to do the things that you love. Watch a movie, blast your favorite music, or order in from your favorite restaurant. There is a bad stigma placed on having fun alone. It is never selfish to invest time or money in yourself. Anything you did with a partner, you can still have just as much fun doing alone. Take some time to get to know yourself again.
Rejection is almost impossible to avoid in this life, but there are ways that we can be better prepared for it. Often in rejection, we are not disappointed in the other party but are instead disappointed in ourselves. It is easy to let your mind wander and question if you did something wrong. Would things have worked out if I had acted differently? It is important to remember that if you are rejected in a romantic relationship, it is hardly ever a reflection of you. That person has needs and expectations just like you, and by letting you go, they are simply honoring their own needs.
“It is tough when you never planned on catching feelings in the first place.”
Rather than seeing rejection as a failure, see it as an opportunity. Have an honest conversation with yourself about your needs. If you are happy being single, more power to you! If you’re ready for something more serious, be intentional in your desires and seek out people who are prepared for the same thing. Being honest and purposeful won’t always protect you from rejection. Still, by putting in the emotional work and being open and vulnerable, you will likely attract people who will do the same.
If you find yourself alone at the end of this cuffing season, there is no need to worry. Some things are meant to be temporary. Rejection can sting, but often opportunity comes along with it. Don’t be afraid to face rejection head-on. If we face rejection with bravery, we are given the opportunity to learn and grow. Instead of viewing the end of cuffing season as the closing of a chapter, see it as the beginning of a new one.
