By: Anonymous Submission

This story is a limited edition theme for November of 2020. “The Truth Is” series.

The truth is, I really miss being sixteen years old. When I was sixteen I didn’t know what depression was, other than what the movies showed me. I was happy and dedicated to my passions, and didn’t need a daily pill to make me feel at ease.

The truth is, I miss dating someone. I miss having a best best friend. I miss snuggling with someone or going to dinner with someone who isn’t one of my girlfriends or parents. I miss telling someone I like them for the first time. I miss the butterflies. The only time I like anxiety is when you’re waiting for a text back that says “I really like you too.”

The truth is, I miss not caring. I miss really truly not giving a shit about my Instagram posts, or my makeup, and doing my hair anytime I go anywhere.

The truth is, I miss being young.

The truth is, I miss you.

The truth is, COVID has made me more isolated and lonely than I could have ever imagined. I miss life. I miss really truly living. I miss laughing at a crowded pizza restaurant at 2 a.m. I miss going to a grocery store and making eye contact with people instead of masked identities.

The truth is, I did something awful and hurt someone special. The worst thing that I ever did, is what I did to that person. I wrecked something wonderful a few months ago, and the truth is I wish I had never let my worst intentions get in the way. Cheating is not worth it. That’s the truth. The truth is, I’m sitting here thinking about you with a tear in my eye.