The Stigma Doesn't Disappear That Easily
By: Jessica Mardian
Content Writer for The Stories We Need to Hear Magazine
The graphics come in waves. Usually, in some bubbly font with a technicolor background or cute little illustration, these graphics tend to pop up all over Instagram stories every few weeks. Each one, some variation of a popular mental health credo like “end the stigma” or “stop the shame.” If you see one on someone’s Instagram story, chances are you’ll spot it on at least five others before noon. These trendy graphics are pretty, and the words themselves are lovely sentiments. I understand the ease of sharing them all over social media, and I’ve reshared many myself. It’s a reasonably mindless act, and there’s a bit of a feel-good rush after adding one to your own story, like checking something off of a to-do list. We must evaluate how we can use these graphics to properly accomplish their true mission.
Plastering social media with easy graphics promoting mental health falls more in line with performative activism than actual change and has dangers. It’s a lot easier to share a graphic and move on than take time to look at one’s own biases and spaces that need change. Posting about it on your story does not equal self-work. Bringing these issues onto social media platforms does increase awareness to some degree, but it can be very brief and not go any further than that slide on a story or post.
Social media as a whole leans toward displaying just the highlights; the carefully selected glimpses of someone's life. The content we see on our screens is not the entire picture but only a sliver. It’s easy to forget that. This effect is echoed in the spreading of mental health graphics, without understanding the meaning they are attempting to portray. They can paint mental health issues a certain way by creating ideas of what it’s like to have depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and other mental health disorders. Graphics are digestible, very easy to take in and share because they align with the images and assumptions we want to have of mental health issues. We might fall into the trap of taking what we’ve seen of these graphics and expect those experiencing mental health disorders to fall in line with the consumable standards we see and reinforce on social media. We internalize this and have difficulty coming to terms with our own mental health struggles, or we project it onto others and potentially even doubt someone else's experiences. This is all counterintuitive to what we should all be reckoning with — how can we begin to break down the wall of shame and stigmas around mental health?
Vulnerability is an act that I treasure. It’s a value that I have, and I think the whole world needs a bit more of. Being vulnerable has done so much for me and the relationships and experiences in my life. I saw a therapist for about seven months, from the end of 2019 to about halfway through 2020. I had so much difficulty even bringing myself to see a therapist for a lot of reasons. The exposure I had to the idea and purpose of therapy was minimal. I didn’t think what was going on in my life was enough for therapy. There was so much genuine angst snaking around inside of me. There was a fear of what those closest to me would think of me, knowing that I had considered therapy. Shame for the low magnitude, my issues were on this imaginary scale of problems that I had created in my head.
What I know now and will happily share with you is that therapy is for anyone. Lots of people go or have gone to a therapist. This is an idea we should encourage and welcome.
After seeing my then-therapist for a few weeks and began to work through the shame, I slowly became more open about the fact that I was in therapy. In embracing this acceptance of getting help, I found that people around me began to share their own experiences with therapy or express an interest in finding a therapist. From the guy I was talking to at the time to a close coworker, it became increasingly apparent that being vulnerable and open about my own therapy experience dropped the guard others were holding up around talking about their mental health. This big, scary thing that I thought was going to cause judgment had the opposite effect. Being vulnerable about my mental health created positive connections in my life and erased the shame I had over going to therapy.
With yourself, first, take the time to take in your own mental health and the internal biases you have on it. Maybe this looks like journaling, talking with a therapist, or doing some research — here are some spots to start: NAMI, Seize the Awkward, and B ring Change to Mind. Disrupting this internal hate that I had towards myself for struggling was the most challenging facet of breaking down the stigma in my own life. It took a lot of time and guidance from my therapist to become open with myself about my mental health. That’s another pitfall of spreading graphics around without an intention: they make it look simple to take care of your mental health. This process isn’t as pretty or comfortable as sharing a graphic on social media, but it’s real. You have to be vulnerable and open with yourself.
Creating awareness within yourself makes a difference in the conversations you have with others on mental health. There’s a powerful weapon to make these difficult conversations more impactful, and that's empathy. This v ideo, narrated by Brené Brown, is a strong start if you are looking for a refresher on practicing this trait. Empathy is why it’s so important to recognize your own experiences because empathy builds connection by one individual looking at their own life and recognizing similar threads in the struggle someone else is going through. If you can’t relate, then it’s merely sitting in the dark with someone else and being there. When someone understands your pain or is willing to sit in it with you, that makes it a lot easier to talk about. Coming to conversations about mental health from a place of acceptance and empathy is another way to stop the shame.
The next time a mental health graphic pops up on your Instagram that you want to share, pause. Think about your intentions in sharing the image. Look and see if the creator is working to change conversations around mental health too. Perhaps you could share a few sentences alongside the image about how you take care of your mind. Find creators whose work echoes your journey with embracing these difficult topics, and if something helps you, share it! Repost the graphic and then do something for your mental health; practice what you preach. Keep the energy going, and don’t let it stall as we so often do. Vulnerability can push through the plaster of social media; you might need to give it a good shove.
Breaking down the shame and misconceptions around mental health is not something one can do and will take time. Unfortunately, not everyone is going to get it or want to. That’s why doing the work individually is essential; the way you move through the world makes a difference. Also, if you aren’t ready or in an environment where having open discussions about mental health is doable, that’s okay. Working to end the stigma within ourselves is just as valuable as doing it with others.
These topics and discussions do not go away if you close your eyes to them. Instead, they fester and grow with turned heads and ignorance. Carve out the time to be honest with yourself, read about mental health, amplify voices in the community, and engage in genuine conversations about mental health. Embracing mental health for what it is — all of its ebbs and flows, good and bad — is how momentum can really be created in trying to end the stigma.
