By: Paige Gulliver

I walk past my anxiety medication without giving it a second thought. The number of sertraline pills in that bottle remains steady. Day in and day out I suffer from debilitating anxiety yet for some reason, I cannot bring myself to swallow a little white pill. I cancel my therapy appointments and accept the full fee even though I am only watching TV. The anxiety I get from having an appointment is enough to fill an entire session anyway. I have tried different medications and suffered the side effects; fatigue, mood swings and headaches. I have spoken to medical professionals and scheduled time to talk only to find myself dodging these obligations. Treating my anxiety gives me anxiety. It always has and it probably always will. Taking steps to figure out how to improve my mental health only seems to do the opposite. This is why I turned to taking literal steps.

“**As I put one foot in front of the other my anxious thoughts fall steps behind me.**”

AirPods charged, shoes tied and lulu shorts on I head out for a walk. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot. Slowly I move along as I start to feel a sense of calmness come over me. The New Orleans sidewalks require extra attention as I dodge missing cement and gargantuan tree roots. Seemingly all of a sudden I feel lighter. As I put one foot in front of the other my anxious thoughts fall steps behind me. The further I trudge ahead the more distance there is between us. Ironically, one of the first things I learned to do, walking, has become one of the last things I’ve learned to employ in my battle with anxiety.

As I pass random strangers in the park, I am reminded that I am one person in a large world. A large world with many people who suffer from similar anxious thoughts. There is something especially calming in pondering the story of the passersby who you know nothing about. It is a crucial realization to see that nobody is facing the challenges of life by themselves. I observe genuine interactions between people who have never met before, and children becoming friends on the swings. I stop to pet random dogs and have fleeting conversations with their owners. As we both head in our own directions I am reminded the good in the world is out there if it is looked for. Walking helps me see it.

This might sound silly or superfluous, but an activity as menial as walking is good for many things. Getting places, staying active, observing the world. To me, it has become much more than just movement. It is freeing but also grounding. It disconnects me from my limited scope of reality and connects me to a much larger understanding of the happening world around me. My phone stays off in my pocket and my anxious thoughts follow suit. I am able to finally forget about the assignment that has been an inescapable weight on my mind. I am able to reflect, and through reflection I achieve relaxation. Before I know it, I have walked for a whole hour. Maybe two. I feel serene and still. My feet hurt but my head doesn’t.

“**It is a crucial realization to see that nobody is facing the challenges of life by themselves.”**

There is much to be learned from walking. Putting one foot in front of the other is the only way to keep moving. Recognizing that if I remain steadfast I will reach my destination. Often I don’t even know what my destination is, or if I have one. I don’t mind though. I am unconcerned with everything. Walking is my wonder drug. I have found that I sweat prescriptions and appointments. I lose sleep over whether I have taken chemicals to offset the chemical imbalance in my brain. Walking has no bad side effects. It is free, available, and I can do it anywhere at any time. I don't need anybody else to improve my mental health because I am doing my best to fix it myself.

“**Walking remains my favorite medicine.**”

This solution is not for everybody the same way that professional help is not for anybody. I may be in the minority but I have only ever had heightened anxiety from waiting rooms and psychiatric visits. This is in no way meant to discredit medication and therapy as it can be lifesaving for people. It is instead meant to highlight my journey with finding a personally successful coping mechanism. I still have bad days. My anxiety remains my biggest enemy but walking remains my favorite medicine. One foot in front of the other, blisters aside, I am taking steps to making myself feel better.